


Secrets and Love

by a_desiredconflict



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 21:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12141198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_desiredconflict/pseuds/a_desiredconflict
Summary: Blackwall's secret has been revealed and later on so is Cullen's. Both are shocking for the Inquisitor but only one is a welcome surprise.





	Secrets and Love

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and suggestions on how I could better this story and others are always welcome. Thank you for reading!

She scanned the faces gathered in the Great Hall. Their voices were much more hushed than they had been at other judgements. One more judgement among many, the Inquisitor had finally become accustomed to doing this. Here was another prisoner standing before her waiting for her words to punish them. No spectators were chattering away for this one though, this judgement was far different from the rest. The prisoner this time was her lover.

Blackwall stood at the bottom of the steps below her throne with his shoulders hunched over. The shackles around his wrists echoed harshly in the quiet hall as he fidgeted. Lady Kiara Trevelyan stared at him while Josephine tried to do as she normally did, recounting the crimes of the accused but she didn't bother for this case. Josephine had called in several favors at Kiara's request to get him away from the noose in Orlais. Blackwall made sure to state how these favors were going to tarnish Josephine's and the Inquisitions' reputation.  
Kiara couldn't just let him hang though. She loved him still. He had wounded her deeper than any blade could but she would have done far more than tarnish reputations to keep him from basically killing himself. She was going to make sure he lived his life.

"You have your freedom." The sentence rang out in the great hall. Kiara hoped that no one could detect the mourning in her voice. She knew that whatever they once shared was now dead.  
"It can't be as simple as that", Blackwall appeared puzzled as he looked up from the floor. "It isn't", Kiara explained, "You're free to atone as the man you are, not the traitor you thought you were or the Warden you pretended to be." The thought of who he was hung heavy in her heart as the words escaped her lips. Kiara didn't know who he was and she never did.

Blackwall, or rather Thom Ranier, paused on her words for a moment. "It will take time. You would accept that? And who I used to be?" He spoke as he began climbing the steps towards her throne. "I lied about who I was but I never lied about how I felt." 

His steps were slow but he was getting closer.  
"Please don't", she thought while shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Kiara knew what was coming next.

"No matter what I was or what becomes of me, right now, I am just a man with his heart laid bare. I leave it in your hands." He was now eye level with her and gazing at her face as he plead for her love.  
The pain stabbed deep into her soul like a dull knife. The stab was one of those precarious wounds that if the instrument of death were to be removed, it would surely kill its intended victim. He was that knife and she was about to pull out the blade. Kiara adjusted her posture, she was the Inquisitor and people were watching. She would face this with all the poise possible.

"I will always love you but I can never trust you again. I'm sorry." She opened the emotional wound wide allowing the blood to spill.

"That..." he spat the word out in anguish followed by a short pause to stand up straight. "That is fair." He continued with the strength now returned to his deep voice. "Goodbye then, my lady. You were... no, there is nothing more to be said. I will return to my post and await my orders."  
Thom Ranier, her Blackwall, bowed before turning his back on her. She watched as he walked away, the noise of his chains joining the chatter now filling the great hall. She watched him just long enough to see the shackles removed.  
Kiara closed her eyes, sighed and pushed herself out of her seat. With the last of her grace she walked over to Josephine. "Lady Montilet?" she was almost whispering. Josephine snapped her head away from the sight of Ranier’s back. "Yes, Inquisitor?" Josephine asked with concern. "I'm going to my chambers. Please don't let me be disturbed and try not to worry." The Inquisitor asked while forcing a small smile on her face. Josephine nodded yes to her.  
"Thank you so much" she said as she stepped through the door leading to her chambers.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Cullen sat at his desk rubbing his temples. All of the reports were finally done and stacked neatly, ready to go for the messenger. It was late though, they would be sent out tomorrow. "It's been a long day" he said out loud as he stretched his arms out above his head.  
Blackwall's, Thom Ranier rather, judgement had taken a toll on everyone today. He never approved of the relationship between Ranier and the Inquisitor. As the leader of the Inquisition and as the woman that she is, she could do so much better than a Warden whose sole purpose was to die fighting darkspawn. To make matters worse, he wasn't even a Warden. Cullen was dreading what would come next once every one hears that she gave Ranier his freedom.  
"And because she was so lenient on him he had the nerve to ask that she continue their relationship?" he thought with his teeth clenched tight. His face slackened as he tried imagining lying to her like that. He would have never hurt her like he did. "What?!" he asked out loud shaking his head as if he were shaking out the affection he held for Inquisitor Trevelyan. He got up from his desk and walked out his door towards the tavern. He needed a drink and then rest is all.

"I wonder if Kiara has come out of her chambers yet?" he pondered as he swung open the door to the Herald's Rest.

Most everyone in Skyhold was in their beds at this late hour so Cullen didn't see anyone but the dwarf barkeep as he walked in. He dragged his feet toward the bar and ordered his ale from Cabot who said nothing when he gave him his pint. Cullen sipped from his mug to scan the tavern once more because he had a better vantage point to see past the fireplace with his back against the bar. Now he could see that sitting at a table just behind the fire she was sitting at a table littered with empty mugs, Inquisitor Kiara Trevelyan.  
Her blonde hair was down and in a wild state so unlike her normal well-kept bun. Cullen had never seen her hair down before. It was beautiful. Even at the barely lit table her hair reflected the light as if it were jewelry under bright scrutiny for appraisal. The length gently splashing onto her shoulders in small, loose waves. "Cullen" she called to him.

He was so mesmerized by yet another gorgeous trait of hers that he didn't register she had noticed him let alone called his name. "H-hello, Inquisitor" he said a bit too quickly. "Join me" pointing to a chair across from her. "I really shouldn’t, Inquisitor. Its late and..."Just come sit down" she cut him off, "I'm tired of drinking alone.  
It wasn't the best time for him to be alone with her considering the track his thoughts seemed to be travelling on but he could see from her puffy eyes that she needed the company. He cared too much for her to leave her alone like this, so he sat down. For several minutes, the only sounds they made were the sound of placing their mugs down after a gulp of alcohol. Kiara started the conversation.

"I fucked up."  
Cullen almost spit out his ale at the suddenness and vulgarity of her confession "How so?" he implored with a furrowed brow after he managed to swallow what was left of his drink.  
She looked up from her empty glass to explain. "I let my emotions get the better of me. I allowed myself to become close to someone and obscured my better judgement." "Caring for someone is not a mistake, Inquisitor." Cullen empathized. "It's Kiara right now. We're not working", she waved two fingers up towards Cabot, "we're drinking, Cullen." Two more pints appeared on the table almost instantly.  
Kiara took a large swig from the new pint and continued. "I'm a circle mage, always will be. I learned to distance myself from others. I made sure to not be extraordinary at any certain studies, skills or magic and to not be exceptionally bad. No one took notice of me; I made myself invisible because I didn't want to be watched." Cullen felt a pang of guilt for her knowing his Templar background. She did all that to keep people like him from watching her.  
"And then this happened!", she exclaimed as she raised her hand bearing the green glow marking her the only person capable of closing the rifts in the sky. "I was only there to watch and listen to the negotiations. I had no role in the mage and templar war! I couldn't be invisible anymore with this. Everyone is always watching The Herald Of Andraste." Her shoulders dropped with a sigh as she continued.  
"Then I met Blackwall", the tears began streaming down her cheeks as his name escaped her lips, "and I thought to myself as we became closer that he could be my Alistair. The Hero of Ferelden is my cousin and I had hoped that he could be my rock like her Warden was for her." She was struggling through the despair to speak. "I thought that if I found a love like hers that I could deal with being seen, that I could handle this burden like they did together and live with being watched."  
Kiara stared at the floor letting the tears fall on the planks. She was far past the point of caring to try and hide them. "I should have known better. An invisible mage could never earn that same type of love."  
"That's enough!" Cullen shouted. He would not allow her to think like that any longer. "The Hero of Ferelden and Alistair are a love to be envied, they are amazing people and your cousin deserved that love but you are just as amazing as she! You deserve that kind of love and more, Kiara!" She finally looked up from the floor with those emerald orbs glittering with tears. "How do you know that?" she begged him.  
Cullen stumbled out of his chair to kneel at her side and take her hands in his. "I just know, Kiara" he said as he gave her small hands a delicate squeeze. Blubbering out now, "The man who supposedly loved me lied to me about who he was the whole time I was with him! How can I deserve anything when I can't even get honesty from someone who loves me?" Cullen released her hands and gently cupped her face as he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. 

"I have never lied to you" he whispered as he  
moved his lips to meet hers.

His lips were gentle and cold compared to her hot mouth that was held tight together due to crying for a full day. Cullen expected to be pushed away any second but Kiara's next motion was tilting her head in response. "Oh Maker", thought Cullen as he fully understood that she was kissing him back.  
Cullen had dreamed of what her lips would feel like against his and never believed it would happen but here she was, leaning into his kiss and parting her mouth to let her tongue through. Kiara grazed his bottom lip with her tongue just enough to send a fever up the Commander's spine. He absolutely had to taste her now so his right hand moved to the back of her neck to pull her in closer and allow his own tongue deeper access. The Inquisitor moaned into him as he ran his taste buds over hers. Cullen had to pull back to breathe and regain himself before she made that sound again. It was heaven to his ears and he would lose control if she did it again.  
"I'm sorry, Inquisitor" he apologized as he stood up taking a step back from her. "I don’t know what came over me and I beg your forgiveness" he pleaded as he kept his head bowed. Kiara stood up and moved closer to him. "Look at me Cullen" she demanded. He brought his eyes to hers once more. "I will not forgive you if you say that kiss was a mistake." she stated as she grabbed his hand. "It wasn’t a mistake, my Lady" he assured her as he smiled from the touch of her hand. "I would like to discuss the kiss in the future" she spoke as she moved her thumb in circles on the top of his hand. "So, would I, Kiara. Cullen said as he placed a kiss on her hand.  
She pulled her hand away, wished him goodnight and walked out of the tavern. Cullen touched his lips remembering her feel once more before heading back to his chambers to toss and turn trying not to relive the kiss and dream of her other flavors.


End file.
